I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
