did you get engaged???
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
