I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
