I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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