Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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