just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
