I feel great
I just peed on a car
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
