There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
