I think i peed on brittanys purse
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The air was thick with penises
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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