I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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