she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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