Your dad touched me again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
