spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
