I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
