I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
