It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
