i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
