I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
