Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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