We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
