Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
