fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
