...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish you could order shots online.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
