if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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