he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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