she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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