i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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