For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
