the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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