none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
