I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
