Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
