I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
