All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
