you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I need to stop coming to work sober
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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