Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
