id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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