apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
