I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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