He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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