Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
