whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
