she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
