I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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