just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
