u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
