Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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