so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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