i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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