we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Vodka?
Forever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
