It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
