Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
