is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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