i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
