I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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