It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
