so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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