i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
