my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
