Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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