We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
