when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
