I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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