Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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