i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
