had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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