Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
