haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
