Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
