Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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