when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
