i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize